I will trust you, Lord

I just got back from urgent care with Caroline.  It seems she has some kind of weird rash.  It will go away, and isn't anything life threatening or crazy like chicken pox or measels. The rest of us most-likely will not get it.  "It's just something kids get."  said the doctor.

"What?" I thought...

Kids get numerous runny noses, colds, splinters, and (apparently) rashes in their little lives.  It's just something that happens.  As I was was driving home, the doctor's words kept resonating in my thoughts and I began to wonder.

Does God think this about us, His children?  When we sin, does God think, "Another one of my children stumbled, it's just what they do."  I'm not sure why I thought that.

The nurse took us to a room and after she took Caroline's vitals, we waited for the doctor to come in.  I was thinking... as Caroline's mother, all I wanted to do was take away her "itchies" and make her feel better.  I ached as I sat in the room waiting for the doctor to come in, watching sleepy-eyed Caroline tell me she was scared.  She gets scared easily these days, and is afraid of most things little girls are afraid of (like spiders and the dark), as well as things most little girls don't have to think about (another post on that later). As I rubbed her back, I prayed that this wasn't going to be a big deal.  I remember taking her to the doctor for a bruised foot last year and finding out she had kohler disease--that was a huge deal.  I was praying this wasn't going to be another big "to-do". 

It wasn't a big deal, but I was glad I took her just to be sure.  We stopped for an ice-cream cone on the way home.  I told her she was brave and that I was proud of her.  We talked about how there was nothing to be scared about.  She agreed that she had worried for "no reason at all".  I explained that God tells us that worrying is a sin, and it only hurts our heart.  I asked her how it made her feel to worry and she said she wanted to cry.

I wonder if God cries when we sin?  Does he look at us like I look at my precious Caroline? I think he probably does.

Lord, forgive me when I don't trust you.  Forgive me when I sin and worry about things I have no control over.

From rashes to worrying...

I promise to trust you, Lord.

Purple People Eater

Monday night, my brother and his family were staying with us and the girls wanted to take a bath.  I put on Caroline’s Cast Cover and she got in the bath.  They played for a long time.  I wish I would have taken pictures of them in there, they were so cute!  When the bath was over, I made sure she was really dry before I took the Cast Cover off.  When I took it off, I immediately felt moisture.  My heart sunk.  For some unknown reason, her cast was soaking wet!  Tony tried to dry it off with a hair dryer as much as he could, but it was still wet.  We decided we would take her back to the doctor the next morning for them to take it off, as they had told us to do when they put it on. 

At 2am Caroline woke up screaming and crying for me.  She said her foot hurt and she couldn’t sleep.  For an hour, I tried to console her and gave her ibuprofen.  She eventually fell asleep.

She woke up crying in the morning at about 7:30 and saying she couldn’t walk.  She was crawling around on the floor.  I called the Orthopedic office to see what time they opened, and hoped to be there when they opened.  To my surprise, they were already open so we loaded the car and headed that way.  They took her cast off and this is what her foot looked like!

 Isn’t  it horrible? The skin had swollen to almost twice the size!  My heart was breaking before my eyes!  Her foot was so wrinkled and swollen, and she was in so much pain!  We let it dry out for about an hour and they re-casted it.  They asked her what color she wanted and she chose purple this time! 

 I sang the "flying purple people eater" song on the way home.  She thought I was making it up.  I still need to look up that song on the Internet so she can hear it. Ha!

The craziest part in all of this, is that her foot wasn’t casted right the first time!  We wouldn't have ever known had it not been soaked.  Her toes would probably not have healed.   She isn’t supposed to be able to move her toes and she could move them freely in the pink cast.  So, they fixed the cast to make it impossible for her to bend her toes, and off we went.  Praise the Lord for that sweet little blessing in disguise!

Things to pray for: 

·         *  Caroline’s foot to heal quickly and completely

·         *  When we go in to the doctor in August that she won’t need to be re-casted and her bones show  significant signs of healing.

·         *  That she can rest well at night, soundly, and peacefully.

·        *   For her to be pain free, while healing occurs!

We believe He is our healer and will make these things happen.  Thanks for taking this crazy journey with us.  Please pray with us.  We will keep you updated!

Tickled Pink

Friday we got in to see the specialist about Caroline's Kohler Disease.  He explained that in Kohler's disease, because there is no blood supply, the bone shrinks.  He then had a huge smile on his face and said, "ironically, this is happening in three bones in Caroline's foot.  It is so rare and unique".  He was almost excited about it.  So, the big middle bone in her foot should be round, and it's not.  It is flat and tiny and pointy.  It's hard to envision unless you see it on the x-ray, but they didn't give me copies for my blog.  So, you'll just have to try to see it the best you can, in your head. Ha!  Also, she has the kohler disease in her tiny toe, and in her big toe.  So. Strange. 

The Doc said she would need to be in a hard cast for at least 4 weeks.  I talked him into letting her have a weight-barring cast, since she isn't that heavy anyway, so she can walk on it. We go back in four weeks to see how things are healing.  He said it will most likely all heal and go away, eventually.  So, that's what we are praying for -- a FULL recovery for Caroline!


 She chose a pink cast!

 This guy has put on over 15,000 casts in his life! He definitely knew what he was doing! Caroline said it tickled when he was putting it on.

Tobin wasn't worried about the attention she was getting, he told jokes the whole time! 

  

Here she is just after her cast was put on...

 

 

Here she is in the car. She was so excited to have a pink cast, instead of the brown one! Ha!

 I'm sorry.  I may be wrong, but I think she is so darn cute!  If you were wondering, I didn't tell her to strike this pose! Where did she learn how to give a peace sign? She is such a ham!

 

I'm going to bling it up today with some rhinestones.  A girl's gotta have her accessories, right?

She complains some about pain and sometimes about itching but otherwise is doing quite well.  Please keep our princess in your prayers, for quick healing.  Have a super week!

Second Guessing and that Gut Feeling.

Psalm 107:1-2 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.

 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

Caroline (our bubbly four year old) woke up in the middle of the night last Tuesday night crying in pain.  She told us that her foot hurt.  We thought maybe it had fallen asleep, but when we touched it, she cried elephant tears of pain.  With a closer look I noticed it looked bruised, and it looked as if there was a knot on the top of her foot.  I felt in my gut I should take her to the doctor, but we prayed instead.  I put ice on it, put on cartoons, and gave her some tylenol.  She fell back asleep soon and we put her in bed.  

The next day we filled up the kiddie pool and got out the slip n' slide.  She seemed fine.  I asked her how her foot was feeling and she said "Not good mommy".  

I figured if she could get distracted enough to forget, then it couldn't be feeling that bad, right?  

Independence day came and went, along with the 4 day weekend, and soon it was Monday again.  Yesterday she complained her shoe was hurting her foot.  I looked and didn't see any blisters, or anything to be concerned about (just a little background, She wore pink glitter dress shoes that were not the shoes I told her to put on when we left the house).  She kept complaining, and as we were out and about I may have said a couple times, "You should have worn the shoes I told you to wear. Stop complaining, we will be home soon".  I know... mom of the year.   I did put her in the cart, so she wouldn't have to walk.  

She cried last night, getting into bed but it was late and I thought she was tired.

I was working on a project today and needed some fabric so we headed to Hobby Lobby.  It wasn't long and she was crying about her foot hurting.  

Then it hit me and I asked her, "Is this the same hurt you had last week?" 

 "YES MOMMY!"  She may have yelled at me as if I hadn't been paying attention to her.

I felt awful, and after calling my hubby, headed straight to the Urgent Care.  

As I sat in the waiting room after paying my $50 copay, my brain told me I shouldn't be sitting there paying money for someone to tell me she bruised her foot.  It didn't make sense to be there in that moment, but my gut told me to see the doctor.

The doctor was really sweet and explained that they needed to do a few x-rays to see if it was fractured. She explained we would be there about 15 minutes or so after the x-ray so the Radiologist could give her a second opinion.  

After the x-ray we had been waiting an hour and the Doctor still hadn't come in to tell us the news. I was sitting there second guessing myself again thinking, "Why did I bring her here and spend this money on this visit.  She is walking. She is just over-reacting.  I should just walk out, they have forgotten about us and are laughing at the over-protective mom that brought her daughter in for a bruised foot..."

The door opened and the Doctor had a serious look in her eye.  She looked at me and said, "I decided to get a 2nd Radiologist to look at it to confirm it is not a fracture.  Caroline has Kohler Disease."

What? Is this really happening? Is this a joke? 

You can only imagine what went through my head and then I think the next 15 minutes went in slow motion.  She explained to me that it is really rare bone disorder in the foot.  It is caused when the navicular bone temporarily looses it's blood supply.  As a result, the tissue in the bone dies and the bone collapses.  She told me she had never seen this in a girl, and never seen it in a child so young.  You can imagine, that didn't help my understanding of the situation, nor did it help me feel better.

I probably would have cried if I was sitting in there by myself, but I had both my kiddos in there listening intently as well.  I immediately prayed internally.  They took out a glass cast and splinted up Caroline's foot and leg.  .   I think I was in a constant state of prayer as I watched them splint up her little fragile leg.   

 The PA who splinted her leg was a Ham.  Caroline thoroughly enjoyed his jokes and funny tactics.

The Doctor explained we were being referred to an Orthopedic Doctor, and that most likely Caroline would be in a more permanent cast for 6-8 weeks.  She also said it could take anywhere from 6 weeks to 48 months to heal back to normal.  Seriously.

 

 

She cried as I carried her to the van.  I'm pretty sure it's because Tobin talked about her not swimming or taking bath's (her two favorite things).  She was just fine once we got her a strawberry milk an some Tylenol.  She spent the evening on the couch watching cartoons, and went to bed laying in her bed listening to The Little Mermaid on CD.  She is devastated that she won't be playing on the slip n' slide or swimming anymore this summer.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm gonna miss it too!  I guess I'll have to get really creative!

If you have any good ideas to keep a four year old occupied, when she can't stand or walk, I'd appreciate any ideas you can give! 

Please pray that God leads us to the right Orthopedic Doctor.  Please pray that healing happens quickly and she doesn't have any further complications.  I am praying and believing she won't have anymore complications when this is healed, nor will she have any long term complications.  We appreciate your prayers, and are confidant that the Lord will get us through this obstacle, just like all the rest!

Faith of a Princess

Today I took my shopping buddy to Walmart  a popular retail store.  Caroline loves going shopping with me, and does very well helping me out.  Sometimes she walks and helps put things in the cart and other times she rides in the front.  Sometimes she loves to ride in the back of the cart and organize everything I put in it-- Just like her momma, she loves to organize! ha!

Today I had a lot on my plate to do and wanted to get out of there quickly.  I had a list and I was stickin' to it.  Caroline wanted to bring her little Barbie ballerina in the store with her.  I told her it wasn't a good idea because she might loose it.  Now, this isn't any Barbie doll.  It was so much smaller than a regular sized barbie-- I'm talking tiny.  Maybe 3 inches tall.  She had won it in an Easter BINGO game yesterday at a friends house and loved this little barbie doll!  She has carried it around since yesterday.  With that in mind,  I could feel a fit coming on and since it was before nap time,  I chose not to have that battle, and let her take it in the store.  She promised she would hold on to her (the barbie of course) the whole time and not lose it, and on we went inside.

I'm on a roll.  I'm making good time shopping.  I'm almost done with my list and out of nowhere Caroline starts screaming and crying hysterically.  I have no idea what she could be carrying on about. I honestly thought some insect had stung her or something.  Then it hit me.  The Barbie was gone!  OH. MY. WORD.  What on earth was I going to do?

We went up and down the isles and backtracked. No sight of it.  I went to customer service and asked if someone had turned it in.  I even desperately searched the toy aisle's for a new one.  I know, not the smartest parenting move.  Like I said, I was desperate.  I knew this would affect our entire day, and maybe week.  If you know my dramatic daughter, you know what I mean.  Finally, I reluctantly headed toward the check out lines after grabbing the last couple of items from my list.  We were waiting in line and Caroline said, "Mommy, can I pray for my Barbie?"

"Okay. That sounds like a good idea." I replied. I mean, what was I going to say?  No?  I don't think so.  I'm a prayer warrior and I pray about things out loud with my kids all the time.  So, I let her pray from her heart.

"Jesus, please bring my Barbie back to me and please help her not to be broken.  Amen." She said in her sweet little voice.  I wanted to cry.  I told her that sometimes I pray for things and they don't happen, but God is Good and cares about us and wants us to be happy, even if our prayers don't get answered. She knew what I was saying and loudly replied,
"NO, mommy! Jesus can give it to me again! He can see everything and he knows where she is"

OH MY GOODNESS. I was in trouble!  I bought our items and we headed to the car.

I loaded all the groceries in the car and went to strap Caroline in her car seat.  She didn't want to get strapped in.  She said, "We can't leave yet! Jesus didn't give me my Barbie back yet."

My heart immediately sunk. I knew I had to explain why he hadn't allowed us to find it.  I thought that I would just call my friend and see where she bought it, then I would replace it later this week and not let Caroline know I bought a new one.  I know, that's really low.  What would you have done?

Well, I strapped her in and walked around the car to push the cart to the cart corral.  As I pushed my cart in the corral I said a prayer for wisdom to flow from my mouth as I explained to Caroline on the way home why we hadn't found the Barbie.  When I turned around there was a gray haired lady there who I had noticed earlier.  She had walked quite a distance to put her cart away.  I looked up at her and smiled and said, "There aren't many cart corral's here are there?"  She smiled back and said, "NO, there aren't enough." Then she asked, "Your little girl didn't lose a little doll did she?"  and she reached in her pocket and pulled out Caroline's Barbie doll.  She said, "I picked it up and thought I'd see someone with a little girl and asked if they dropped it."

I know what you're thinking.  I was in shock too!  I was overjoyed and thanked her tremendously and told her she had saved the day!  With a sigh of relief and an audible thanks to God,  I walked around the car and opened the door and said, "Look what I found!"

Caroline didn't even act that surprised as she replied, "See mommy! I told you He would find it!"

She had such faith, and God delivered.  He cares about the little desires of our hearts, even a four year old little girl's heart.  I think God did this today to strengthen my faith.  Just when I needed a little nudge, a reminder, and something to be thankful for, He delivered.


Psalm 37:4 
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Caroline's First Dance Class

Caroline had her first dance class today!  She has been begging to take ballet lessons for months.  I think it's all because of Ballerina Barbie.  Thank you Mattel!  I called a local Dance Company in our sweet little town and luckily, there was an open combination Ballet/Tap class today.  She told me to dress Caroline in a leotard, tights, and slippers- tutu's were fine too.  It was no coincidence that in some of the donated items we received, were those exact items in Caroline's exact size!  I have no idea who donated them, but if you are reading this- THANK YOU!  I took Caroline  this morning, just to see how she would do.  She did fantastic!  I'm afraid there's no going back now folks!

 Doing the "butterfly" stretches...

 Now it was time for tap shoes.  She LOVED tap! We didn't have any tap shoes, but it just so happened that one of the mommies there today had an extra pair of shoes that her daughter had outgrown and they were Caroline's size too! She was going to donate them to someone in need.  Ha! Some people would say that was a coincidence too.  Nope!  That was the holy spirit's work folks! He cares about the little things!  She wore her shoes all day long!

She was so happy and so proud of herself!  

My Baby Started Kindergarten

Yesterday was Tobin's first day of Kindergarten.  We woke the kids up and I had breakfast ready for them when they got in the dining room.  Tobin's favorite breakfast is pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage.  He was so excited!   Caroline, on the other hand, was not happy to be awake.  Please ignore the look on her face.  She is not a morning person! Ha!

Look at my handsome boy!  I cannot believe how big and handsome he is.

I had to get a photo of the "pair".  I wondered how Caroline would react when Tobin was gone all day...

We get the privilege of walking to school!  His school is one block away and the road we walk down is covered in big shade trees.  It was such a nice, pleasant walk. 

His Teacher's name is Mrs. Abbott.  She is so sweet!  He is in school from 8:00 to 3:00 every day.  What a long day for a 5 year old!

Aunt Carol got to walk him to school with us and see him to his first day in his new classroom. It was so special to have her there!

Mrs. Abbott told the children to pick a table and work on some puzzles.  There were 3 other children in the room and Tobin chose a table by himself.  If you know Tobin at all, you know that is not his personality.  He is such a social extrovert that I was worried what kind of day he would half.  We prayed as a family and left our big boy at school.  I cried as we walked away, but knew that God was going to take care of him.  I'm not sure where the last 5 1/2 years went, but they flew by!

Caroline was so sad when we dropped him off.  I had to get a photo of her face.  I don't know if I've ever seen her that sad before.

I quickly distracted her with a new tea set that Aunt Carol brought. It worked like a charm!  She had a picnic of animal crackers and marshmallows with her babies. 

I"m not sure who gave her this princess vanity/piano but she LOVES it!  She quickly forgot Tobin was gone and had a great time playing.  Later in the day, she went with me to some thrift stores and an antique mall.  We found her a little wooden high chair for her dolls.  What a prize!

I'm looking forward to the structure of full day school every day. I'm hoping it will force our family into some sort of normalcy.  Tobin had a great first day of school!   We can't wait to see what this year will be for him, for Caroline, and for our family as a whole.  Please continue to pray for us as we start a new routine. 

It's gettin' HOT in HERE!

Summer is keepin us super busy! We have been in the car a lot, going to Frontie! On the few days that we ARE home, we like to play board games and watch movies :)

It has been over 100 degrees here for days and days and days. You think I'm exhagerating? I AM NOT! Today,it was 109, at 7:30 pm! CRAZY HOT! So, if we are outside, we are IN THE WATER! We have been spending at least one day a week at White Water Bay (a water park here in the Metro area). We have season passes, and are getting our money's worth!

Tobin is growing up, right before my eyes. I cannot believe he will be starting Pre-K soon! Caroline is still our princess, but oh ... so ... much... drama! She is sweet, but sassy. Oh my, we are in TROUBLE when she become a teenager, I can feel it!

(yes, that is chinese food boxes. Our church is serving popcorn in them for At The Movies this year, it is Kung Fu Panda themed lobby. Another reason we have been super busy)

We spent the 4th of July in the Heat, inviting people to church. It was one of the best "4th's" we have had as a family! We all wore matching green t-shirts, yes I said GREEN. We stood out, that's for sure! We LOVE our church, and it just opened a new kids wing this weekend! Another reason we have been somewhat busy lately. The kids wore their patriotic stuff the whole week before July 4th, since we weren't going to wear it on the day, itself :)

The t-shirts were only in adult sizes, so I made caroline a dress, and Tobin a shirt in his size. They were a hit!

My health has been better. My Thyroid is very disfuncitonal and my hormones are all very low. They are trying to figure out why I am still not normal. Prayers for continued healing on my body are greatly appreciated... as are prayers for Tony- he is the one that has to put up with my moodiness ;) Regardless of the heat, and health issues, medical bills, etc...we are counting our blessings! I made it to 29 this year(a week ago, to be exact)! Tony and I lost a bunch of weight this year, and I battled another rare disease. We are so thankful for God's blessings and provision for our family. So, I will leave you with this song that my mom used to sing to me as a little girl. I have been teaching it to our kiddos. Have a super weekend, and a fabulous week ahead!

The Lord is good to me

and so I thank the Lord,

for giving me, the things I need,

the sun and the moon and the appleseed,

Oh, the Lord is good to me!

My Mini-Me

This photo is me, when i was 2, maybe? This is Caroline. (yes, I know I never posted Easter pics... but it's not the 4th of July yet, people. I've got plenty of time, right? Sheesh!)

I cannot tell you how much my sweet Caroline is like me. She has an attitude like me. She loves being girlie(just like me). She is so kind hearted and sweet, but sensitive and moody at the same time (also like me, I guess). She loves babies (who doesn't!?). She is beautiful (well, hello!). okay, you get the point... she is a lot like me. I've said before I wanted to be a mommy. Have I ever said how blessed I am to be a mommy!? I do not deserve Caroline's sweet cuddles and kisses and "i wuv you too"'s. I do however deserve her fits and meltdowns. Why, you ask? Well, I also gave my mother fits and meltdowns. I mean, seriously ... I've given Tony (my wonderful husband) fits and meltdowns. My dad once said, "Rachel is the best girl in the world 80% of the time". I have to say that is also the case with our sweet Caroline. Hopefully I'll master that 20% (soon) and can then show her how to do the same. I can't believe I get the privilege to help shape a cute, moody little girl into a beautiful, Godly woman... with the Lord's help, of course... and Tony's too!

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

ps- thanks to my Mom (and daddy too) for shaping me into the woman I am today. I know now, what a hard job it was! Love you!

Little Mommy

In honor of Mother's Day, I thought I'd share these photos of my "little mommy" I took last week. I always dreamed of being a mommy when I was a little girl. All I ever wanted to do, my whole life, was be a mommy. Someone is taking after her mommy!

.... Now, It's time to tackle my mommy duties. Have a great week all you Mommies out there!