Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Second Guessing and that Gut Feeling.

Psalm 107:1-2 O give thanks unto the Lord, for he is good: for his mercy endureth for ever.
 Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he hath redeemed from the hand of the enemy

Caroline (our bubbly four year old) woke up in the middle of the night last Tuesday night crying in pain.  She told us that her foot hurt.  We thought maybe it had fallen asleep, but when we touched it, she cried elephant tears of pain.  With a closer look I noticed it looked bruised, and it looked as if there was a knot on the top of her foot.  I felt in my gut I should take her to the doctor, but we prayed instead.  I put ice on it, put on cartoons, and gave her some tylenol.  She fell back asleep soon and we put her in bed.  

The next day we filled up the kiddie pool and got out the slip n' slide.  She seemed fine.  I asked her how her foot was feeling and she said "Not good mommy".  

I figured if she could get distracted enough to forget, then it couldn't be feeling that bad, right?  
Independence day came and went, along with the 4 day weekend, and soon it was Monday again.  Yesterday she complained her shoe was hurting her foot.  I looked and didn't see any blisters, or anything to be concerned about (just a little background, She wore pink glitter dress shoes that were not the shoes I told her to put on when we left the house).  She kept complaining, and as we were out and about I may have said a couple times, "You should have worn the shoes I told you to wear. Stop complaining, we will be home soon".  I know... mom of the year.   I did put her in the cart, so she wouldn't have to walk.  

She cried last night, getting into bed but it was late and I thought she was tired.

I was working on a project today and needed some fabric so we headed to Hobby Lobby.  It wasn't long and she was crying about her foot hurting.  
Then it hit me and I asked her, "Is this the same hurt you had last week?" 
 "YES MOMMY!"  She may have yelled at me as if I hadn't been paying attention to her.

I felt awful, and after calling my hubby, headed straight to the Urgent Care.  

As I sat in the waiting room after paying my $50 copay, my brain told me I shouldn't be sitting there paying money for someone to tell me she bruised her foot.  It didn't make sense to be there in that moment, but my gut told me to see the doctor.
The doctor was really sweet and explained that they needed to do a few x-rays to see if it was fractured. She explained we would be there about 15 minutes or so after the x-ray so the Radiologist could give her a second opinion.  

After the x-ray we had been waiting an hour and the Doctor still hadn't come in to tell us the news. I was sitting there second guessing myself again thinking, "Why did I bring her here and spend this money on this visit.  She is walking. She is just over-reacting.  I should just walk out, they have forgotten about us and are laughing at the over-protective mom that brought her daughter in for a bruised foot..."

The door opened and the Doctor had a serious look in her eye.  She looked at me and said, "I decided to get a 2nd Radiologist to look at it to confirm it is not a fracture.  Caroline has Kohler Disease."

What? Is this really happening? Is this a joke? 

You can only imagine what went through my head and then I think the next 15 minutes went in slow motion.  She explained to me that it is really rare bone disorder in the foot.  It is caused when the navicular bone temporarily looses it's blood supply.  As a result, the tissue in the bone dies and the bone collapses.  She told me she had never seen this in a girl, and never seen it in a child so young.  You can imagine, that didn't help my understanding of the situation, nor did it help me feel better.

I probably would have cried if I was sitting in there by myself, but I had both my kiddos in there listening intently as well.  I immediately prayed internally.  They took out a glass cast and splinted up Caroline's foot and leg.  .   I think I was in a constant state of prayer as I watched them splint up her little fragile leg.   
 The PA who splinted her leg was a Ham.  Caroline thoroughly enjoyed his jokes and funny tactics.

The Doctor explained we were being referred to an Orthopedic Doctor, and that most likely Caroline would be in a more permanent cast for 6-8 weeks.  She also said it could take anywhere from 6 weeks to 48 months to heal back to normal.  Seriously.

She cried as I carried her to the van.  I'm pretty sure it's because Tobin talked about her not swimming or taking bath's (her two favorite things).  She was just fine once we got her a strawberry milk an some Tylenol.  She spent the evening on the couch watching cartoons, and went to bed laying in her bed listening to The Little Mermaid on CD.  She is devastated that she won't be playing on the slip n' slide or swimming anymore this summer.  I'm not gonna lie, I'm gonna miss it too!  I guess I'll have to get really creative!

If you have any good ideas to keep a four year old occupied, when she can't stand or walk, I'd appreciate any ideas you can give! 

Please pray that God leads us to the right Orthopedic Doctor.  Please pray that healing happens quickly and she doesn't have any further complications.  I am praying and believing she won't have anymore complications when this is healed, nor will she have any long term complications.  We appreciate your prayers, and are confidant that the Lord will get us through this obstacle, just like all the rest!


Perry Storkson said...

We will be praying for sure. I've never heard of the disease, but it sounds awful! We will be praying for a healing so amazing that ONLY GOD can receive the glory, and that all who witness it will be saved!

Don't beat yourself up. God gave you all the tools you need to be the incredible parents that you are, but He didn't give you x-ray vision (probably for good reason). You did the best you could with the 'tools' you have and I don't think any of us would have handled it any different.

We sure love and miss you guys!

sarah saucier said...

Yes, I know He will help you through it and you and your faith will be a great witness and example for all who know of your problems---or even hear of them, although they may not know you. " All things work together for good---" Roman 8:28. Your being so tested reminds of Job---love you Grammy

Charles said...

Rachel, we will be praying for Caroline and for you, too! These next few weeks will be harder on you than on her! Knowing what a wonderful and creative mother you are, you will come up with all kinds of ways to keep her happy. I do suggest you start writing a book! It would be a 'best seller'!Your family has had so many hard times, but God always paves the road ahead of you to make everything work out for the best! Use your blog to start your book. To your mark, get set, ....go!