Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Wind


Today was a beautiful day with the most beautiful weather. My husband got home from work. We ate dinner as a family and then headed off on a family outing to a Softball game in town. Before leaving the house, I packed the "mommy" necessities for my toddler, Tobin, which included his silky, juice, crackers, hat, and gloves. Yes, even with the beautiful 70 degree weather we had today I had to be prepared for anything. When we opened our car doors at the ballpark, the wind came swirling in from outside. The cold front had made it's way right to where we were going to spend the next 2 hours. We loaded Tobin in the stroller, put on his hat, which he insistently pulled right off, and made our way to the ball field.


As an adult, I never really notice the wind unless it blows my hair out of place, or picks up something in my hand and carries it away. Tobin, on the other hand had never experienced this "wind" before. After I put his hat back on his little head, I enjoyed myself as I watched him try to walk while the wind pushed and pulled at him. He has only been walking for about 6 weeks and struggles enough on a day to day basis without having to deal with this new problem. Needless to say, he did not like this challenge. He walked up and down the bleachers holding one hand above the bench as if prepared to catch himself in case he was to fall. He laughed and chanted his baby language. Then, he would lose his balance and mommy would catch him. He got so upset at whatever this force was that pushed him down. How can toddlers be so entertaining?


Being his mother, I think he is very smart. Today when we had our snack, he color coordinated his fruitloops and ate them one color at a time. For a 13 month old, I think that is very smart, or maybe a bit Obsessive Compulsive... who knows? Tonight he learned about the "wind". He can't say it's name, he doesn't know it's purpose, but he kept trying to walk, or read his book, or hold on to his crackers no matter how hard that wind blew. At the same time, he had the faith that I was right there behind him, making sure he wouldn't get hurt.


My reflection on tonight is this; Tobin could not see the wind, though he tried so hard. He would turn around when it pushed him as if someone or something was directing him. Tobin saw and experienced for the first time the effects of the wind. Just like Tobin, we cannot see God. We can only have faith in HIM while seeing the effects he has our lives, and those around us.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Mommy's Halloween Lion






















Today I turned my son into a Lion. Being worried that he wouldn't like his costume, or that he would be afraid of it, I let him play with the costume beforehand. Also, We tried it on 3 times this week and looked in the mirror so he could get used to it. I fought tears and laughter tonight as I watched him. He was so cute running around as Mommy's lion. We went to a carnival at Roller Land skating rink in Choctaw. It was so entertaining to watch him examine all the costumes. He was so intrigued. I wonder what his little mind was thinking. He can't use words to communicate, but his Oo's and Aah's and Lookit's were as if to say, "What is that? Why does he have his face painted? Why does Grandma have ears on? "


I think back to all the Halloweens that my mother made so special for us. Orange cupcakes that we decorated like jack-o-lanterns with sprinkles, Homemade costumes, Trick-or-treating, etc were always so much fun. My mother was, and still is, the best costume maker. She would always dress up with us to go trick-or-treating too! I want Tobin to have fun memories of the holidays. Any ideas for this week being Halloween? What was your tradition in your family? I would love some new toddler-friendly ideas. Thanks in advance!





Thursday, October 25, 2007

Writing...

When I dated my first boyfriend, I started writing "letters" or "notes" to him. While sitting outside overlooking the view at my parents house one day, my dad came up behind me and said, "Rachel, don't ever write anything you don't want anyone else to see". Every time I have written anything after that, I've always heard those words in my head.

I've always kept a journal but, I've never let anyone read my journals. It is so strange writing in my blog like a journal yet, everyone and anyone can read it. The amazing thing about writing is that words are so powerful. When I read something, I feel as if I'm right there on the page. I feel what the writer feels. My mood is set by the tone of the paragraphs. I empathize with whom the writer is portraying.

How can I, as the reader, feel so many emotions in one book? One of my favorite authors is Francine Rivers. So many people have told me that I have to read "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers. I have read several of her books, my favorite thus far being "Atonement Child" (which I highly recommend). Anyway... I decided the other day to read-yes you guessed it- "Redeeming Love". As I am about a quarter of the way through the book, I wonder what all the fuss was about. This leaves me with many questions in my mind...

What makes a book great?
Will the next chapter of this book be the chapter that makes me love it?
When I'm through with the novel, will I only then understand the fullness of it's greatness?

These questions are another glimpse at what intrigues me with writing. Until the poem, paragraph, page, or novel is done, I can never understand the full content. The statement, "You can't judge a book by it's cover" is true in many ways.

For all of you "Redeeming Love" fanatics out there.... I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I will continue reading. I will not stop just because it isn't my favorite book so far. I will continue to write my blogs with updates about "Redeeming Love" and let everyone know how I truly feel when the novel is read, and the feelings/moods/empathizing are over; only then can I get the true vision of the novel I read.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Melt My Heart

Today seemed like it was two days. THE longest day ever, well in a long time anyway. First of all, Tobin has been not quite too big for size 4 diapers and really still too small for size 5. He was put to sleep last night in a size 4, needless to say when he woke up, his diaper had come undone and he, his bed, and his sheets were all wet. It was a mess! After his bath, I put him in his playpen so that I could clean up his bedding. I was in the process of putting his sheets in the washing machine when I heard his laughing getting closer. I peeked out of the utility room to see him running towards me. It shocked me for a moment as I wondered for a split second if Tony had come back home. Quickly, I realized that he had somehow climbed out all by himself. I looked him over to make sure he wasn't hurt, then I tickled him as he continued laughing at his great accomplishment. My day was full of ordinary chores-all done while chasing Tobin around the house. Today was vacuum day-in which Tobin helped me by chasing the vacuum around as I vacuumed. I dug out a new hand-me-down toy for him (a purple and red monkey) and he carried that darn monkey around all day long like his baby. It was definitely cute. He threw a HUGE fit at lunch because I took his monkey away while he ate. As you all probably know, PB&J does not go well with a stuffed animal. He played in the crib for an hour at nap before finally falling asleep. In the afternoon, we ventured to Wal-Mart in the cold and rainy weather to get some necessities. He had his monkey with him but still did not seem to be pleased. He snacked on animal crackers while I stared at the shelves trying to decide which fabric softener to buy. I hear his laugh, and turn to see him standing in the cart while still strapped in. I was holding on to the handle and still, he stood up! My heart stopped, as I pushed him back down into the cart. He threw a another fit, kicking and screaming. He then decided to throw his monkey as far as he could. Needless to say, I headed for the check-out.

For some reason, at Wal-Mart I always tend to pick the line with the cashier that flashes her light because she needs a manager as I debate to stay there or to move to another line. This time I decided to stay. As you would know I picked not one, but TWO items without tags on them. Yes, I know the people behind me were thinking, "Good grief lady!" as they were wondering if I had fed my screaming child today. AAAAaahhhh!!!

When the day was through, and we were chilling out in the living room, he comes waddling over to me arms reached high, wanting mommy love. No matter what kind of day it is, or how long it seems, Tobin always melts my heart!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

In A Blink

As I sit at a table cluttered with bills I can't help but think about the past. I remember back to when I was a kid. All my needs were met, and always without asking. My family was just a normal, middle class family, but yet I never had to wonder where my food was going to come from. I never had to think about where I was going to sleep at night, nor did I have to worry about my clothes being clean to wear.

The thoughts that now invade my mind are thoughts that are different from when I was just a girl. Most are questions such as: "What will I fix my family tonight for dinner? How come, no matter how much laundry I do, there is still more? Did we get our electric bill yet- when is it due?" Even though my thoughts are completely different, they aren't negative. I still have the same "feelings" about life that I had when I was a child.

I like being outside. Food is yummy. I Love to sing.

Instead of playing house, I'm living it. It is so strange how life flies by in the blink of an eye.

Lord, help me to be the kind of homemaker that doesn't take any moment for granted. Help me not to be upset when the laundry and dishes pile up. Help me to make the most of my time with my son, and my husband, and my friends. Lord, fill me with your fruits. Thank you for this amazing life!