To The Suspect of the Luther Fires:

I woke up this morning, ready for my day.  I had a dentist appointment and a lunch date with a Scentsy team member.  Tobin had already been dropped off at school.  Tony was sitting on the couch and I was sorting Scentsy bars on the floor.  The local morning news was on.  Then we heard these words:

"Oklahoma County Sheriff John Whetsel said police have identified arson suspects in the Luther wildfire that resulted in 2,700 acres burned and 50 homes destroyed."

I immediately stared tony in the eyes and I think we were both speechless.  I didn't hear what the news reporter said after that (to read the rest click here).  I was immediately filled with rage.  You see, I'm finally at the point when I wake up in the morning, the fire is not the first thing I think of anymore.  Why did I have to hear that now?  I continued to get ready for my day.  When I was in the car on the way to my appointment, I started praying out loud.  I had a choice to make.  I could get angry, or I could forgive.

So, if you are the person (or persons) who started the fire, or are in anyway responsible, this post is for you.  This is what I want you to know...

This is my family:


This was the porch of our home, just 300 feet away from where you threw out burning trash.  These two precious children were asleep in their beds.  They had no idea that their whole world, as they knew it, would be turned upside down.  While they were sleeping, you started the fire.



This is our home burning.  We didn't have any warning.  Our neighbor alarmed us then we fled with the clothes on our back. 

We lost everything.

We lost everything because you threw burning trash out your pick up truck and fled, like a coward.  You deserve a lot more than I can even put into words.  I cannot imagine why someone would do this.  Why would someone not even consider the consequences of his actions?  Was this a prank? Was this because you are so filled with hurt, pain, and vengeance that you wanted to destroy homes and lives?  You deserve something really bad.  So, you know what I want to do? I want to tell you about my Savior, Jesus Christ.  He was perfect, yet died on a cross over 2000 years ago to pay for our sins.  He did not stay dead.  No!  He rose from the grave three days later.  He took the punishment we deserve and paid the price for us, so we don't have to live a miserable life, or experience a miserable after-life in Hell.  That's right, even YOU.  All you have to do is believe in him.  Ask for forgiveness, with a repentant heart.  You too, can be saved.  

The truth is, all sin is the same.  Do you know what that means?  I am the same as you. I am not to judge you or compare myself to you.  I am a worthless sinner myself.  It is only by the grace of my Savior, my Redeemer, my Provider, my Healer, my Lord that I am of any value. 

I FORGIVE YOU.

I forgive you because I am filled with Joy that only comes from my Lord.  

I am praying for you. 

I am praying for your family.

I am praying for your heart, that you too will be saved.

John 3:16 (NIV84)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Hurting Hearts

Tonight we went to Best Buy. We had a gift card and thought we would let the kids each pick out a DVD.   Tobin couldn't make up his mind because all of his movies were gone and he "... just can't make this decision". He had a knock down, drag out, throwing, kicking, screaming, crying fit. He is hurting so bad.

My heart hurt for him. My heart hurt with him.

Tonight I heard crying from the kids room.  It was Caroline.  She was crying because she was scared and said, "I miss our house mommy!" 

I miss it too.  Who knew you could miss 600 square feet of cramped space? It was home, and this is now.  She can't quite understand that. I asked her what she missed.  She said she misses her closet (I made the bottom of their closet into a play house), and her Rapunzel doll.  I told her, "You have a new one, just like your old one.  It's the same exact Rapunzel doll."
She replied, "But it smells different mommy". 

My heart her for her.  My heart hurt with her.

Tony has been back to work this week.  I think we both knew (or thought we knew) that it would force us back into some sort of "normal" daily life.  While it did force us into a scheduled routine, nothing can force normalcy.  His heart needs time to grieve.  I think it was a hard decision for him to make, but after talking to his peers and superiors at work, he has decided that's the right thing to do.  It wasn't an easy decision.  I know it was hard coming to that decision, not because of pride at all, but because I don't think he quite knew he needed to grieve.

My heart hurts for him.  My heart hurts with him.

As everyone else in the house sleeps tonight, I sit here and type.  I too, am grieving.  It's a weird thing to me.  I haven't quite put my finger on what we are all grieving.  Was it the trauma of escaping the fire? Was it losing every possession we owned?  Is it starting over that's so hard?  It may be a combination of some or all of those things, I'm not quite sure.  All I know is, we are all hurting tonight.  I'm not even sure if I should publish this post.  "What will people think?" 

Grieving is not a sign of weakness.  It is a sign we are human.  It is why we need HIM to help us get through everything.  We are believers of a Holy and loving God who paid he ultimate sacrifice for us.  Tonight, he is my comfort. He is my sustainer.  Tonight, I covet your prayers of peace and comfort for my family.  I know this is a process.  I know we will get through this.  I know we will be stronger. This one thing I know is true...

Psalm 46:1  God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.