He is Here

Immediately after the fire, our kiddos were transferred to safety and in the car of some friends.  Tony and I gathered our thoughts and talked through what we were immediately feeling.  We spoke our truth to each other.  We put on spotify in the car as we drove away, watching the smoke from a distance.  This song came over the speakers as we both cried.  We found him there.  In our weakness. In our pain.  In our stress. In our overwhelming miracle.  In the hope we have through him.


Play the video and listen to the words...

(Lyrics)

Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now

You'll find His peace
And know you're
not alone anymore
He is near

You'll find His healing
You're heart isn't
shattered anymore
He is here

Breathe in
Breathe out

You will
You will find Him here

Come and rest here
Come and lay your burdens down
Come and rest here
There is refuge for you now

You'll find His peace
And know you're
not alone anymore
He is near

You'll find His healing
You're heart isn't
shattered anymore
He is here

Breathe in
Breathe out

You will
You will find Him here

I will rest in You (4x)

Breathe in
Breathe out

You will
You will find Him here

Breathe in
Breathe out

You will
You will find Him here (2x)

We were immediately showered with text messages and phone calls and emails as the word of our tragic news spread.  We felt so loved and so blessed.  Now, 16 short days later, I have to admit that I feel a little alone.  Everyone else's lives are normal again.  It seams that the newness of our tragedy has escaped everyone's daily life.  People are shopping at the mall and having fun on vacation.  People are getting their nails done and hair colored.  People are eating at restaurants and riding rides at Frontier City.  There is nothing wrong with these activities.  In fact, if anything, these are normal.  These things used to be my normal life.  The reality of what happened 16 days ago are forced in my memory every day.  Tonight, I was searching in my kitchen for a certain scooping spoon I have always scooped cookie dough with (for the last 8 years).  I searched for about 5 minutes then I realized, "What am I doing? I'm such an idiot.  I don't have that spoon anymore!"  Things like this happen every day.  There are constant reminders that everything is gone.  We are actually starting over.  I wonder, "What will my new normal be like and when will it get here?"

I am not writing this blog to make anyone feel guilty, or feel sorry for me.  I am merely writing down my grieving process.   I know that it is okay to grieve.  I know it's okay to cry.  I know that these things are not a sign that I am weak.  I am human.  Through all my steps, I want you all to know one thing.  He sustains me.  He fulfills me.  If you are asking who "He" is... He is My savior.  My healer. My protector. My Sustainer! He can be yours too.

Psalm 51:12 (NIV84)

Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. You all have NO IDEA what it means.  We are blessed. 

Until later, 

 ~Rachel