Speechless

I was running frantic this morning from store to store. I had to get supplies for some blankets I'm making for some special babies that are arriving soon. I had both kids with me. Tobin was on his best behavior most of the morning. As noon was approaching it was getting hot outside. Caroline was tired of sitting in carts and Tobin was getting tired of following me around. I ran by Sonic to get some drinks to tag along with us before our final stop of the day. I got my usual Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper and Tobin had a Diet sprite with orange. We were in a popular fabric and craft store (which I won't name) in a long line. We were about third in line, and there was a woman in line behind me. I had just handed out animal crackers to my kids to subdue them while we stood there in line. I grabbed my diet Dr. Pepper and took a big drink (As I silently prayed to God above to make my kids behave until we got out of this store)and shot a smile to the cashier. ( I secretly hoped she would get a HUGE hint that my kids were at their limit and she needed to hurry)

Out of nowhere am man (older than me, probably in his late 30's/early 40's) swiftly walked by us. He said loudly so everyone could hear, "Hope that's a diet coke!"

He kept walking, but turned his head around and smiled at me and laughed.
My mouth dropped and eyebrows turned. But, I stood there speechless. I looked around to see if anyone else saw that, or if it was a figment of my imagination. The lady behind me had a grimace on her face and shook her head. It was clear I wasn't the only one who had heard.

I was embarrassed.
I wanted to laugh.
I wanted to cry.
I was praying Tobin didn't understand what the man said.
I stood there in disbelief.

I think Tobin could have broken a vase right then and there, and I wouldn't have even noticed because I was in la la land until we got to the car... where I broke down and laughed out loud while a few tears ran down my cheek.

What is wrong with the human race? Is this poor man so miserable that he has to point out other's imperfections to make himself feel better? If I was thinking I should have said, "At least I can loose weight, you will always be ugly!"

What would that have taught my children?

My weight has fluctuated my whole life. Last year, Tony and I worked hard and lost weight. I got down below my pre-pregnancy weight. Then the stress of our year hit hard. Seven months of steroids wears on me every day. I gained over 40 pounds. I am finally at a place in my life where I'm happy with who I am in Christ, no matter what I look like. I am actually a joyful person most of the time. I don't work out daily like I should, but I don't indulge in high calorie foods and sweets every day. It's not like I weigh 400 pounds!

It's amazing how fast one's self esteem can be shot down. I am still taking this all in. But, I guarantee a weight loss plan is on the horizon folks! I'll let you know in the next few days how I feel about what happened today.... after it has soaked in a little bit.

Just venting.... Isn't that what blogs are for?