Thursday, July 22, 2010

Speechless

I was running frantic this morning from store to store. I had to get supplies for some blankets I'm making for some special babies that are arriving soon. I had both kids with me. Tobin was on his best behavior most of the morning. As noon was approaching it was getting hot outside. Caroline was tired of sitting in carts and Tobin was getting tired of following me around. I ran by Sonic to get some drinks to tag along with us before our final stop of the day. I got my usual Vanilla Diet Dr. Pepper and Tobin had a Diet sprite with orange. We were in a popular fabric and craft store (which I won't name) in a long line. We were about third in line, and there was a woman in line behind me. I had just handed out animal crackers to my kids to subdue them while we stood there in line. I grabbed my diet Dr. Pepper and took a big drink (As I silently prayed to God above to make my kids behave until we got out of this store)and shot a smile to the cashier. ( I secretly hoped she would get a HUGE hint that my kids were at their limit and she needed to hurry)

Out of nowhere am man (older than me, probably in his late 30's/early 40's) swiftly walked by us. He said loudly so everyone could hear, "Hope that's a diet coke!"

He kept walking, but turned his head around and smiled at me and laughed.
My mouth dropped and eyebrows turned. But, I stood there speechless. I looked around to see if anyone else saw that, or if it was a figment of my imagination. The lady behind me had a grimace on her face and shook her head. It was clear I wasn't the only one who had heard.

I was embarrassed.
I wanted to laugh.
I wanted to cry.
I was praying Tobin didn't understand what the man said.
I stood there in disbelief.

I think Tobin could have broken a vase right then and there, and I wouldn't have even noticed because I was in la la land until we got to the car... where I broke down and laughed out loud while a few tears ran down my cheek.

What is wrong with the human race? Is this poor man so miserable that he has to point out other's imperfections to make himself feel better? If I was thinking I should have said, "At least I can loose weight, you will always be ugly!"

What would that have taught my children?

My weight has fluctuated my whole life. Last year, Tony and I worked hard and lost weight. I got down below my pre-pregnancy weight. Then the stress of our year hit hard. Seven months of steroids wears on me every day. I gained over 40 pounds. I am finally at a place in my life where I'm happy with who I am in Christ, no matter what I look like. I am actually a joyful person most of the time. I don't work out daily like I should, but I don't indulge in high calorie foods and sweets every day. It's not like I weigh 400 pounds!

It's amazing how fast one's self esteem can be shot down. I am still taking this all in. But, I guarantee a weight loss plan is on the horizon folks! I'll let you know in the next few days how I feel about what happened today.... after it has soaked in a little bit.

Just venting.... Isn't that what blogs are for?

7 comments:

Natalie Witcher said...

I still can't believe that happened to you. What an absolute jerk. I'm stunned. You are beautiful and he has no right to steal any of your joy!

Mandy said...

I am reminded of lyrics from the song So Much More by Marc Robillard: "Someone who says that can be done no more, you'll never reach it no because it's unreachable. Well they're not to blame, it's just that their hearts are torn. They don't know where to go to, so they fall on you. But I know, that today holds more. So much more."

He obviously had a torn heart. Hold onto the "so much more."

Brie Herrera said...

I'm so sorry that you had to encounter such a rude and thoughtless man, one hwo obviously does not know anything about you and was only saying horrible thing sto others in order to make himself feel superior. I know you already know this, but you are an amazing, strong, beautiful woman who can do anything! But please, don't feel as though you have to loose weight for people like that man- but only for yourself and your family...the people that love you and see your beauty no matter what you look like on the outside. ((Hugs))

Divina said...

I'm stunned. My heart fell in my stomach as I read those words. I'm so proud of you for trying to stay grounded in who you are in Christ. I will be praying that his words will be fleeting and will not linger in your mind or heart.

Nathaniel said...

"Whats wrong with the human race?" We are sinful. People, whither they will admit or not, are lost and hurting. Im sure you can hear mom saying that in your head right now. Dont worry about sasquatches, just work hard.

If it were me, I would use his comments for motivation, to run faster and work harder. However, its not me, and Im eating pie right now.

Kristyn said...

People never cease to amaze me!!!! I can't believe how RUDE they can be! Remember that time we were in Kohl's??? That lady?? Seriously couldn't believe her and I can't believe that man now. Sorry girl. You are beautiful!!

M0M said...

Yes...Nathan is right: Hurting people HURT people. That man must have a gigantic hole in his dark heart. Since you told me about it this afternoon, I have changed a bit...I felt so sorry for you, but now I feel a "little" sorry for him. Just a little bit. What a jerk. So glad that you have the love of God and know that so many others love you, too. He must not have any love in his life...