A New Daily Life

The night of my diagnosis of ITP last weekend, my doctor told me I could not nurse Caroline anymore. As you nursing mothers may know, it's not fun to quit cold-turkey. The hospital stay was hard, and harder for that reason (not just physically, but emotionally as well). God has truly blessed me in that I have been able to nurse both my babies. I am thankful that I had 8 months with Caroline. This week has been pretty emotional for me, as well. I went through the grieving process. I was in denial, then anger/depression for about a day, trying to find my footing, and now I life a new life-thankful for every minute of every day. The side effects of the steroids are bugging me, but I know once I am in full remission those will go away.



My Doctor has also informed me that I should have no more babies. We are praying, and trusting God that I will be in remission for years and they might give me the okay. He is the ultimate healer, but we also know that we are so blessed to have our boy and our girl. So, now that the dust has settled a little, I would like to ask for prayer for our future. The couple who wanted many kids may not have many kids. I almost feel it is selfish to feel this way-wanting more, considering that I have my life and that so easily could have been taken away so quickly. Now I realize how lucky and blessed I am to be alive, at all. I'm rambling... I just ask that you'll please pray with us as we ask God to give us peace for our future.

Caroline has been teething, and wants me for comfort. That has been the hardest part of this, besides my healing- forcing her to be weaned when she doesn't understand why, and doesn't want to. I'm not sure why I'm writing this post except to be quite honest, I want to document it for me so one day I won't forget how precious this time was for me. It's even harder forcing my baby to take a bottle, knowing that there is a huge possibility this may be our last baby. (and by forcing, I don't mean that she has trouble eating- she LOVES to eat, anything!)

I want to end this post with a few photos to remember this stage of my life.


I'll miss her sweet feet hanging out of my nursing cover...

I'll miss her sweet satisfaction when she's through eating

I'll miss her crossing her fingers as she nurses- Now, when she drinks a bottle she holds onto it, instead of me.

I'll miss her sweet face staring up at me.

Thank you, Lord for giving me this sweet time with my babies. I am forever grateful.

50/50 chance of remission

I went in today to see the Hematologist and get my labs drawn. My platelet count was up to 300,000-which is normal! Praise the Lord! I asked lots of questions, and he was very good at helping me understand ITP. There is no known cause of this disease. People just get it-like cancer, or diabetes... some things we just don't understand. I'm not sure why I got tagged, we will likely never know. However, there is a 50% chance that I can go into full remission and never get low platelets again. There is also a 50% chance that as they wean me off of the steroids, my counts go down. In this case they may have to remove my spleen and put me on meds. The doctor will start weaning me off of steroids (a little less every week, starting next week). I will go in for blood work every Thursday to check my counts. We will know more on November 12th, whether or not I will need any additional treatments. I'm giving you all this detail so you can know what to pray for.

We are praying for God's ultimate and complete healing. My immune system is not normal yet, and the steroids make me extra susceptible to catching illnesses. I will need to stay away from crowds for a while. We are praying that God keeps all illness away from our home. We covet your prayers. Thank you for the outpouring of love and support by prayers, flowers, visits, and meals. Thank you for loving our family!

Also, I just want to thank our parents, family, and my husband for taking care of everything when I was in the hospital. Thank you for everything from encouragement to taking care of my kiddos and my home (including laundry and cleaning). Tony, you are such an amazing husband and father. Without you, I would have fallen apart. I love you all!

Welcome Home!

This morning my platelet count was 123,000! A true miracle for the third day! God is working his hardest to perform healing. I know now that am truly blessed to be alive. My nurses told me today they had never seen a patient with such a low count. Wow, glad they didn't tell me that the first night, I may have had a brain bleed with worry (in all seriousness)!

I want you all to know that I was pumped full of IVIg, steroids, and other powerful drugs today to keep my platelets rising. I got home about an hour ago, and was welcomed by my kids and wonderful friends that had dinner ready, a clean house, and a welcome sign.

Thank you to all that prayed, visited, all the comments on Twitter(@rachelcobb), facebook, and on my blog. Thank you for all the cards and goodies. I am truly blessed by my heavenly father to be able to breathe fresh air again, and be surrounded by great family, friends and loved ones that care so much for me!

Here's what my future entails:

ITP is a disease that I will have to learn to live with. We are still unsure of a lot of the details. I will be on steroids for several weeks. Thursday, they will check my levels again and if my platelets are continuing to rise, they will wean me slowly off of the steroids. If my platelet counts stays normal, I will be considered in remission. This is a disease that I will most likely live with for the remainder of my life. I am sensitive to illness and rough activities, but pretty much can live a normal life-at least that is what we are hoping for. I will be talking more about daily future life on Thursday at my appointment. Right now, we are just trusting God to get me well, my counts up, and keep me free from illness. As I am typing this, I am feeling strange from the IVIg, and ramped up from the steroids.

Pray for... rest(not easy to sleep with steroids), protection from illness(I am more susceptible to getting any kind of virus-it will put me back into the hospital), my platelet counts to rise, and getting to a state of remission, quickly.

We are trusting God, and know that his pleasing perfect will is always good. Thank you for the continued prayers and support!

ITP Update

They drew my labs this morning and my platelet count was 53,000! That is officially out of high risk! Praise the Lord! I have to keep it easy, and get my platelets up to at least 120,000 before I can go home. We are praying that tomorrow afternoon I can go home! I will have to continue steroids for at least 8 weeks. However, we are hoping this means I will be in remission. We know that God is in control. We totally trust him, but are praying for a quick recover and remission. Thank you for your prayers, comments, and love.

When it rains... it pours...

Yes people, something else crazy has happened in our notsonormal life. Last night I came to the Emergency Room. The previous 24 hours, I had growing bruises and broken capillaries all over my body. I knew it didn't seem normal. My blood pressure was elevated, and it was just weird! Anyway, I followed my gut(and some pushing by friends and family) and went to the ER. You know it's bad when they take to to triage, look at you with big eyes, and immediately put you in a wheel chair to wheel back to an exam room. After a couple hours of tests... the Hematologist(blood doctor) came in. I expected him to say "you have an iron deficiency" or something livable like that. No... He then explained I had a blood disease called ITP (Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura. It is a bleeding disorder in which the immune system destroys the platelets, which are necessary for normal blood clotting. A normal person has a platelet count of about 140,000 to 450,000. My count was 5,000. They immediately admitted me into a room and started steroid treatments. This morning, my count was 3,000. More steroids, clotting meds, and platelet transfusion later... here I sit. They are going to do more labs tonight to test my levels.

Here's where you all come in! Please pray for me. This could be very serious. I won't burden you with all the details. I'm sure you know of a website called "google". Look it up if you want to know. However, We are praying for a miracle. We know God's timing is perfect. His will is permanent. He loves us and is still so good to us! We are trusting that I will get to go home sometime this week. We are unsure of the outcome- whether I will be in remission soon, or whether this is something I'll have to endure for sometime, but we know that God is in control.

Thanks for your prayers in advance. We love you! -Rachel

*some goofy pics to let you know that just cause you don't feel horrible, doesn't mean you aren't really sick!

(just one of my 30 bruises)
(ps- another note is that my dad has 16 days left of radiation and he should be cancer free. I guess my body was just jealous of all his attention ;)

Dear Aunt Carol,

Thanks for spoiling me! Here is a photo of me in my outfit you sent. Don't I look cute!?

(Click to enlarge)

I love you and miss you Aunt Carol!

Hugs and kisses, Caroline

Leaves are falling, part one

I've started doing preschool with Tobin every day at home. Today we started learning about Fall. We practiced our colors, talked about different shapes of leaves, and read the story of Genesis- where God created the earth. Then, we went on a leaf hunt!

Caroline, waiting in the high chair eating cheerios while Tobin gets his shoes on.
All set and ready to go!

(the rest of the pics are taken from my cell phone, because my battery died in my camera-bad quality, but you get the point)

His first leaf! A brown one!

Running ahead of the girls to see what he could see before we got there!

It's hard to see in this photo, but the bottom of this tree had a clump of bright red leaves. Tobin thought this was "so cool"... that the tree had green, yellow, orange, and red leaves all on one tree!

He's in the middle of conversation.

Miss Caroline was so good on our walk! She loves being outside. Look Grammy, that's the hat you made her! It fits perfectly now!

When we got inside, we piled up all the leaves, counted them, and laid them all on wax paper.

Ten he sprinkled wax (crayon shavings)on the paper and leaves.

We covered the leaves and wax with another sheet of wax paper. Then, while mommy ironed, Tobin watched as the papers melted together with the leaves in the middle.

Our finished project!

Now, he can see the beautiful colors in the leaves every day... for a while anyway.

It was a great day. Stay tuned for the rest of our week, as we study about Fall.

I like to move it, move it...

Last Friday night, we went to a wedding reception to celebrate the marriage of some sweet friends. Tobin danced the night away! Here are some of his moves. Don't get jealous, people!

That's right, show the lady how it's done!

Wouldn't be a night without some break dancing!

Look how red his cheeks are! I think he wore himself out, and had a great time doing it!

Disney On Ice!!!

We were blessed with Tickets to the State Fair and Disney On Ice! I can't tell you who bought them for us, but I can I tell you it's some of the most fun our family has ever had!?!
I'm having trouble with blogger, so my pics are out of order. Oh, well... you can get the effect. It was amazing, and the pics do NOT do justice! We had a fabulous time!

I didn't get any pics of Tinkerbell from our seats, so I uploaded one from the Internet. you don't think that's a posed picture, do you? :)...

The Lion King!

Sebastian!

The Little Mermaid and Eric Dancing away...(She's not toppless, just can't tell she has a top on from the pic, oops)

He was so excited, right before we went in...

Tony and Caroline

Cotton candy came with a lightning hat! how exciting!

Tobin's first cotton candy!

Then, the cars came out!!! Look at the expressions on both their faces!

Mickey and Minnie!

We were all fascinated!

Lightning!

The Little Mermaid!

Lion King

Posing for a photo before we left!

Thanks for blessing us! We had an amazing time! Tobin will never forget it!

Below is a video of the beginning of Disney on Ice and Tobin's reaction... priceless!

The second video is of Lightning McQueen's big entrance-exciting!