Today I was Humbled.
Today we were in the car. I stopped at a red light that is on the corner of a busy street-a busy street that homeless people always hold up their signs asking for help. Today, a scraggly looking man came walking up to our car close enough where Tobin could see him.
He said, "What him doing momma?"
I responded, "I don't know, Tobin"
It hit me as I drove away what I had done. First of all, I lied to my son. I mean... didn't I know what he was doing? I could have at least said, "He's holding a sign". I guess I didn't want to explain to Tobin that he (in mommy terms) didn't have a home so he was holding up a sign to ask for money or food because he did not have any.
You see, I honestly get tired of seeing these kinds of people at this intersection every day. I am kind of annoyed by them. It is the same people at the same corners. If I would roll down my window every time, I could probably start a relationship with them... Why haven't I? I have not once offered them money. I justify it because I have no cash on me, or we're always tight, or I just spent 80 dollars on diapers, etc. At the same time, I can scrape up pennies, nickels, and dimes to put in Tobin's reward jar; and I have 50 cents in my pocket to put in the "ride" at Walmart when Tobin is good in the store. We try to teach Tobin to give to the Lord, and give to others. We just gave a family our single stroller and car seat last week, because we weren't using it anymore- In fact, Tobin was upset to let it go (and actually cried) but we explained that we did not need it anymore but this family did. I think he actually understood us. Yet, I did not teach my son today about what a dollar can mean to someone who has nothing.
I think part of me didn't tell Tobin the truth today, because I felt guilty. I think part of me didn't tell Tobin the truth because I don't want him to know the truth... that bad things happen. That sometimes people don't have places to live, or food to eat, or clean clothes to wear. How do I explain this to my 2 1/2 year old? How can I possibly begin to explain it to him?
Lord, forgive me if I am not showing my son your love by helping those in need. Give me more opportunities to give to others, even if I don't have anything to give. Show me what I can give to those in need.